暴笑的老外FML
Today, my electricity went out. The electric company said it was because the bill was at least 4 months overdue. Apparently, I have been paying for my roommate to go out and party for weeks. FML
今天，我公寓的电被掐了。电力公司说我们已经至少4个月没付电费了。显然，过去几周一直都是我在付钱给我室友出去风流快活呢。。。FML
Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML
今天，我在浴缸里面泡澡，我把iPod Touch放在浴缸沿上面，这样我就可以一边听音乐一边泡澡了。这时，我的狗狗走过来，看了看我，用爪子把iPod推到了水里。FML
Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML
今天，我儿子找不到他的宠物老鼠Charile了。在用吸尘器打扫沙发下面的时候，吸尘器突然停了，有东西卡在里面。我趴下来仔细一看，坏消息：我得重新买个吸尘器了；好消息：我们找到Charile了。FML
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
今天，在工作的时候，一个顾客突然变的很暴力，开始袭击我和我的同事。为了避免伤害到其他人，我上去一招制敌，把他放倒了。然后，警察来了把他逮捕了，而我，因为“袭击顾客”被炒了鱿鱼。FML
Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
今天，我男友带着鲜花和早饭来叫我起床。我们开始在床上缠绵起来，不一会儿，我们听到了敲窗户的声音。这时，我们才注意到窗外有工人正在用刮子清洁玻璃。现场直播。。。FML
Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML
今天，我老婆穿上昨天新买的裙子，她问我她是不是看起来很可爱。我告诉她“她几乎就是超级模特”。显然，“几乎”这个词用的很不是时候，猜猜看谁睡在沙发上。。。FML
Today, my mother had 'the talk' with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
今天，我老妈找我谈话，关于“性”。我完全不知道她在说什幺，我也不知道为啥她突然就要和我说这个，知道她提到了她在我的车的后座发现了一个用过的安全套。那不是我干的，而且我也不知道那是谁干的。我擦，我可真希望能玩回“车震”。FML
